Funny Lines Said by Robin on the Batman Tv Show
[first lines]
Robin: [checking out the Batmobile] I want a car. Chicks dig the car.
Batman: This is why Superman works alone.
Mr. Freeze: What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!
Mr. Freeze: In this universe, there's only one absolute... everything freezes!
Batman: Hi, Freeze. I'm Batman.
[slides down dinosaur statue]
Mr. Freeze: Allow me to break the ice: My name is Freeze. Learn it well, for it's the chilling sound of your doom.
Cop #1: Please show some mercy!
Mr. Freeze: Mercy? I'm afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy.
[Batman is trying to melt the ice, when Freeze appears in the magnifying glass of the telescope]
Mr. Freeze: Tonight's forecast... a freeze is coming!
Batman: Hey, Freeze. The heat is on.
Mr. Freeze: I will blanket the city in endless winter. First Gotham, and then the world.
Poison Ivy: Just what I had in mind. Everything dead on earth, except us. A chance for Mother Nature to start again. Behold, the dawn of a new age. My mutant plants have the strength of the deadliest animals. Once you have frozen mankind, these babies will overrun the globe, and we shall rule them, for we will be the only two people left in the world.
Mr. Freeze: Adam and Evil!
Henchman: Excuse me, chief. I got something here you might want to see.
[Freeze freezes him]
Mr. Freeze: I hate when people talk during the movie.
Poison Ivy: So many people to kill... so little time.
Poison Ivy: As I told Lady Freeze when I pulled her plug, this is a one woman show.
Mr. Freeze: If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday finest. It's time to feast!
Dr. Jason Woodrue: [sighs] Well, I can respect your opinion. Sadly, I'm not good at rejection. I'm afraid you'll have to die!
Poison Ivy: He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me...
Mr. Freeze: NOT! Surprise, I am your new cell mate. And I'm here to make your life a living hell. Prepare for a bitter harvest. Winter has come at last.
Batman: [to Robin] You get the ice, I'll get the Ice Man.
Batman: And you are...?
Batgirl: Batgirl.
Batman: That's not awfully PC. What about Batperson, or Batwoman?
Batgirl: Bruce, it's me, Barbara. I found the Batcave.
Robin: We gotta get those locks changed.
Batman: She knows who we are.
Robin: I guess we'll just have to kill her.
Batman: Yep, we'll kill her later, we've got work to do.
Robin: She knows who we are. Guess we'll have to kill her.
Batman: Yep, we'll kill her later. We've got work to do.
Mr. Freeze: Let me guess, Plant Girl? Vine Lady? Huh? Hand over the diamond Garden Gal, or I'll turn you into mulch!
Mr. Freeze: No matter what anyone tells you, Bane, it really is the size of your gun that counts.
Mr. Freeze: [referring to Batman and Robin] Their bones will turn to ice! Their blood will freeze in my hands!
Batman: Who invited you?
Robin: I was just hanging around.
Batman: I thought you were gonna stay in the museum. Round up some thugs.
Robin: How 'bout, "Nice to see ya? Glad you're here to save my life."
[talking about Poison Ivy]
Robin: I can't believe we were fighting over a bad guy!
Batman: Bad- Yes. Guy? No.
Robin: Well I'm totally over her, alright? Positively!
Batman: Me too! Definitely!
[pause]
Batman: Great stems, though...
Robin: Buds, too.
Batman: Yeah, those were nice...
Mr. Freeze: You're not sending ME to the COOLER!
Robin: I could have made that jump!
Batman: And you could have splattered your brains all over the side of the building.
Robin: You know, in the circus, the Flying Graysons were a team. We had to trust each person to do their jobs. That's what being partners is all about. Sometimes, counting on someone else is the only way you win.
Batman: Your head wasn't even on the job. All you could think about was Poison Ivy.
Robin: You just can't stand it! Maybe she wanted me instead of you. I mean, this is your idea of friendship, isn't it, Bruce? It's your house, it's your rules, it's your way to the highway! It's Batman and Robin, not Robin and Batman, and I'm sick of it!
Batman: Yes, it's my rules. *My* rules to keep us alive, and if you want to stay in this house, and on this team, you will abide by them!
Robin: This is no partnership. You're never gonna trust me!
Commissioner Gordon: Batman, a new villain has commandeered the Gotham Museum. He's frozen the antiquities wing. He's turned the security guards into blocks of ice. He's calling himself Mr. Freeze.
Batgirl: Chicks like you give women a bad name.
Bruce Wayne: Well, he's over-eager. He's impulsive. I can't trust him not to get hurt.
Alfred: Perhaps the truth is you really don't trust anyone.
Bruce Wayne: Oh, don't tell me you're on his side, again.
Alfred: Despite all your talents, you are still a novice in the ways of family. Master Dick follows the same star as you but gets there by his own course. You must learn to trust him, for that is the nature of family.
Bruce Wayne: I trust *you*, Alfred.
Alfred: But I shan't be here forever.
Mr. Freeze: If I must suffer, humanity will suffer with me.
Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy: I am Nature's arm. Her spirit. Her will. Hell, I am Mother Nature, and the time has come for plants to take back the world so rightfully ours! 'cause it's not nice to fool with Mother Nature.
Mr. Freeze: Take two of these, and call me in the morning.
Mr. Freeze: Can you be cold, Batman? You have eleven minutes to thaw a bird. What will you do? Chase the villain or save the boy? Your emotions make you weak. That's why this day is mine!
Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy: Hello, Jason. I think I've had a change of heart. Quite literally. The animal-plant toxins had a rather unique effect on me. They replaced my blood with aloe, my skin with chlorophyll, and filled my lips...
[She passionately kisses him on the lips]
Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy: ... with venom. Oh and Jason, one other thing. I probably should've mentioned this earlier. I'm poison.
[Batman and Robin are being attacked by Freeze's henchmen]
Robin: It's the hockey team from hell!
Barbara Wilson: Uncle Alfred's been supporting me his whole life, I'm going to take him away from all this.
Dick Grayson: Alfred and Bruce are like family.
Barbara Wilson: Paying someone to do your dishes, cook your meals, you call that family?
Alfred: There is no defeat in death, Master Bruce. Victory comes in defending what we know is right while we still live.
Robin: You're pretty good at this, little girl.
Batgirl: Well watch and learn, little boy.
[Batman has taken beating from Bane and lies stunned on the ground. Ivy moves over to him]
Poison Ivy: [standing over Batman] There's something about an anatomically correct...
Poison Ivy: [she lies down next to him] ... rubber suit that puts *fire* in a girl's lips.
[Poison Ivy blows a cloud of lovedust in Batman's face]
Batman: [resisting] Why are all the gorgeous ones homicidal maniacs? Is it me?
Poison Ivy: [smiling seductively] Enough. Sweet talk...
Batman: [Batman bids for Poison Ivy] One million dollars!
Robin: [as does Robin] Two million!
Batman: You don't have it. Three million!
Robin: I'll borrow it from you! Four million!
Batman: Five million!
Robin: That's a utility belt not a money belt. Six million.
[Batman looks at Robin and then produces something from said-belt]
Batman: [firmly] Seven million.
[it's a credit card blazed with the Bat symbol. Expiration date: FOREVER]
Batman: Never leave the cave without it!
Poison Ivy: [amused by the squabble she's caused] You two boys aren't going to start fighting over little old me, now are you?
Poison Ivy: Kill them, of course. But why stop there? Why should only Batman and Robin die while the society that created them goes unpunished?
Mr. Freeze: Yes! If I must suffer... Humanity will suffer with me! I shall repay them for sentencing me to a life without human comfort. I will blanket the city in endless winter! First... Gotham. And then... The world!
Robin: I need a sign that you've turned over a new leaf.
Ivy: How about "slippery when wet?"
Poison Ivy: [Poison Ivy sneaks up on Robin] Hey there, pretty birdie!
Robin: Give yourself up! If you surrender...
Poison Ivy: -to you?
[She blows lovedust in Robin's face]
Poison Ivy: [Offering her hand] Polly wanna kiss?
Mr. Freeze: Hello. Sorry about the door. Is the party over?
Poison Ivy: Men, the most absurd of God's creatures. We give you life... and we can take it away just as easily.
Robin: We'll have to do this upside-down.
Batgirl: Men, always doing things the hard way.
Poison Ivy: [to Nora Freeze] I've never been good with competition. Who needs a frigid wife anyway?
Mr. Freeze: Watch the numbers, Batman, for they are the harbingers of your doom. Can you feel it coming? The icy cold of space! Ahh! At 30,000 feet, your heart will *freeze* and be no more!
Batgirl: [in the Batcave; Alfred's image is on a computer screen] Uncle Alfred, it's me, Barbara!
Alfred: I expected you might find your way down here. I programmed my brain al-algorithms into the Batcomputer to create a virtual simu-simulation.
Batgirl: I want to help Batman and Robin.
Alfred: I anticipated you would, and took the liberty to create something in your size.
Batgirl: Suit me up, Uncle Alfred!
Poison Ivy: [at Arkham Asylum] Let's cool it for now. There's someone I'd like you to meet.
[Bane arrives, carrying Freeze's cryo-suit]
Poison Ivy: His name is Bane.
Mr. Freeze: A laundry service that delivers. Wow!
Poison Ivy: [watching Freeze suit up] What are you, a fifty big and tall?
Mr. Freeze: No. I always go a size smaller. Makes me look slimmer.
[Poison Ivy auctions herself to the Ball-goers via a microphone]
Poison Ivy: Some lucky boy's about hit the honey pot...
Poison Ivy: [moving over to Batman and Robin] I'll include an evening of my company for the winner.
Poison Ivy: [stopping in-between them] I'll bring everything you see here... *Plus*, everything you don't!
Ms. B. Haven: Freezy, I'm feeling hot.
Mr. Freeze: I find that unlikely.
Ms. B. Haven: Okay, so my hair is brittle and my skin is dry. I'd weather the blizzards just to have you. You're the most perfect man I've ever known. What do you say we heat things up?
Mr. Freeze: My passion thaws for my bride alone.
Ms. B. Haven: Ooh. Talk about your cold shoulder.
Mr. Freeze: One more giant diamond of this size, then my freeze engine will be complete. Aah. First, I will freeze the city, then I will hold Gotham ransom. Unless the city bows for my demands, it's winter forever in Gotham. The city fathers will have no choice but to give me the billions I need to complete my research, then I can find the cure.
Bruce Wayne: Alfred, am I pig headed? Is it always my way or the highway?
Alfred: Yes, actually. Death and chance, stole your parents. But rather than become a victim, you have done everything in your power to control the fates. For what is Batman? If not an effort to master the chaos that sweeps our world. An attempt to control death, itself.
Bruce Wayne: [pause] But I can't, can I?
Alfred: None of us can.
Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy: [Poison Ivy is in her cell at Arkham Asylum plucking petals off a flower] He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me.
[Poison Ivy eats a petal]
Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy: .
Mr. Freeze: Not!
[Mr. Freeze appears in the cell wearing his cryosuit]
Mr. Freeze: Surprise! I'm you're new cellmate.
[Poison Ivy chuckles nervously]
Mr. Freeze: And I've come to make your life a living hell. Prepare for a bitter harvest.
[Mr. Freeze approaches Poison Ivy]
Mr. Freeze: Winter has come at last.
[Poison Ivy shakes fearfully]
Dr. Pamela Isley: You monster. How could you?
Doctor Jason Woodrue: Our original sponsor had no stomach for military applications. He cut the funding for our work.
Dr. Pamela Isley: Our work?
Doctor Jason Woodrue: But without your research, I could never have come this far. Join me. The two of us entwined, side by side...
Dr. Pamela Isley: Join you? I have spent my life trying to protect plants from extinction, and now you corrupt my research into some maniacal scheme for world domination? When I get through, you won't be able to get a job teaching high school chemistry. Do you hear me, you... PSYCHO?
Bruce Wayne: We need the Wayne diamonds.
Dick Grayson: We gonna trap ourselves a snowman?
Bruce Wayne: Absolutely, right after you spend ten hours in the simulator, training.
Dick Grayson: Look, I made a mistake. I'm sorry. Don't go all protective on me. It's not gonna happen again.
Bruce Wayne: You were reckless, and you almost got killed by Freeze tonight.
Dick Grayson: I'm fine! See? Me, here, alive? How are we supposed to work together if you won't trust me?
Gossip Gerty: Brucie, is it true this new telescope can see all around the globe?
Bruce Wayne: Yes. If you'll just watch these monitors right here. Dr. Lee?
Observatory Scientist: Satellites already in orbit allow us to reflect light from any given point around the planet.
Observatory Associate: From here, we'll be able to see the sky anywhere on Earth, and through this intricate network of satellites, reflect it back to our very own Gotham City for observation.
Bruce Wayne: Just don't point it at my bedroom.
Alfred Pennyworth: [watching the Batmobile prepare to depart] Do try and bring this one back in one piece, sir.
Ivy: There's just something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips.
Batman: Why is it that all the beautiful ones are homicidal maniacs? Is it me?
Poison Ivy: Brother, dear... I heard you were blue!
Arkham Asylum Guard: [smitten] Don't mind us, ma'am. You can speak freely!
[Poison Ivy blows a cloud of lovedust in his face]
Poison Ivy: Oh I don't mind you at all!
[she blows a second cloud into the second guard's face]
Poison Ivy: [walking and talking with the guards in tow] Men! The most *absurd* of God's creatures!
Poison Ivy: We give you life... and we can take it away *just* as easily!
Arkham Asylum Guard,Arkham Asylum Guard: [sarcasticly] Right. Whatever!
[laughs]
Poison Ivy: [putting a hand on the second guard's face] I really *am* to die for...
Barbara Wilson: [about street racing not mixing well with being an Oxford student] They kicked me out, but it doesn't matter because I've already won all the money I need to do what I've always dreamed.
Dick Grayson: Just don't tell me you're going to run away and join the circus.
Poison Ivy: I'm a lover, not a fighter. That's why every Poison Ivy action figure comes complete with him!
[Bane attacks]
Robin: I hate to disappoint you but my rubber lips are immune to your charms.
Batgirl: [to Poison Ivy] Using feminine wiles to get what you want? Trading on your looks? Read a book, sister. That passive-aggressive number went out long ago.
Poison Ivy: Batface and Birdbrain turned out to be much more resistant to my love-dust than expected... No matter. Next time I'll just give them a stronger dose. They'll literally be dying for me!
Batgirl: Damn.
Robin: Damn? Damn's not good.
Batgirl: Those targeting mirrors are frozen, the thawing beam won't work.
Dr. Jason Woodrue: [in the research lab] I call this little number... Bane. Bane of humanity!
Mr. Freeze: I need to get more diamonds from my hideout.
Poison Ivy: I can help you grab your rocks.
Poison Ivy: [to Robin] One kiss, my love. For luck...
[Poison Ivy passionately kisses Robin on the lips with a hint of a smile on her face]
Poison Ivy: [Pulling away with a look of mock-sympathy on her face] Bad luck I'm afraid... Time to die, little Robin!
[Robin gets up to fight Bane once again when]
Poison Ivy: Stop!
[Robin stops as Poison Ivy blows lovedust in his face]
Poison Ivy: [she backs a dumbstruck Robin against a railing] Living in the shadow of the big, bad Bat!
Poison Ivy: [putting her arms on his shoulders] You don't need him. *You're* the star!
Poison Ivy: I can see it now! Your own *big*... *bright*... signal in the sky!
Poison Ivy: [lustfully, putting her arms around his neck] Let me guide you...
[Batman's fight with Bane is going unnoticed by Poison Ivy and Robin. Batman is winning]
Poison Ivy: [Poison Ivy moves in to kiss him] Let me kiss you...
[Poison Ivy is disguised as Pamela Isley. She addresses Gordon with her back to him]
Poison Ivy: [Over] ... Comissioner Gordon.
Commissioner James Gordon: [He acknowledges her] Yes?
Poison Ivy: [She faces him in turn, seductively] I've always wondered... where does that big, old Bat-light come from?
[She blows a cloud of love-dust in his face from an ivy-leaf compact; Gordon is suddenly enamoured by her]
Commissioner James Gordon: [Struggling to keep his composure] Why... it's... right on top of police headquarters!
Poison Ivy: [Ivy beams seductively as she leads Gordon away like a puppy dog] I'd just *love* to see it! But you probably don't have access...
Commissioner James Gordon: [Gordon falls for her trap] Why, dear lady...
Commissioner James Gordon: *I*... am the comissioner of the police, I have the keys...
[he takes them out from his jacket]
Commissioner James Gordon: right here in my pocket. Would you like to see it?
[Ivy towers over Gordon. Slowly she opens the case once more and languidly blows another cloud into the police chief's face; fully entrancing him into a love-drunk stupor]
Commissioner James Gordon: [weakly as Ivy claims the keys from his hand] Who *are* you, dear lady...?
[Her goal earned, Ivy prepares to administer the coup de grace. She leans in for a kiss]
Poison Ivy: [Stopping short] On second thought, you're *way* too old for me!
Commissioner James Gordon: [watching vainly as Ivy dashes off, leaving him alone] No, I'm not... Please... come back...
Bruce Wayne: My father once told me, "To succeed, we need only pick a star and follow it."
Bruce Wayne: I'm late for the dedication, then I go after Freeze and Ivy alone.
Dick Grayson: LIKE HELL YOU ARE.
Bruce Wayne: -Don't push me right now.
Dick Grayson: What? Nobody can face IVY but the big, bad Bat? YOU WANT HER FOR YOURSELF
Bruce Wayne: That's right, Dick. I want HER so much I can tastE IT. That's the whole point. She's done something to us. She has us fighting over her somehow.
Dick Grayson: I know she loves me and not you, and it's driving you crazy.
Bruce Wayne: Listen Dick, why do you think she's so desperate to kiss us? I bet her lips are poisoned.
Dick Grayson: A poison kiss? You don't understand. She understands how I feel.
Bruce Wayne: She has clouded your mind and you're not thinking straight.
Dick Grayson: I am thinking straight, for the first time in a long time. I want a Robin signal in the sky. I'm sick of being in your shadow.
Robin: [to Batman] A poison kiss? You have some real issues with women, you know that? You just couldn't stand it that she was going to kiss me and not you, wasn't it? You couldn't stand it that she wanted me and not you!
Batman: Vengeance isn't power. Anyone can take a life.But to give life... that's true power.
Bruce Wayne: Friend... Partner... Brother... Will *you*... trust *me* now?
Bane: Bane - "Baaaaaane!"
Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy: Mammals, a day of reckoning is coming. That's right, the same plants and flowers that saw you crawl from the primordial soup will reclaim the planet. And there will be no-one to protect you.
Gossip Gerty: You must be new in town. In Gotham City, Batman and Robin protect us... even from plants and flowers.
Poison Ivy: Hi there.
Robin: [walks over to Ivy] Is your thumb the only part of you that's green?
Poison Ivy: You will just *have* to find out!
Robin: I want us to be together but, I also wanna make sure your serious about turning over a new leaf...
Robin: [sits down beside her] I need a sign.
Poison Ivy: How about 'Slippery when Wet'?
Robin: Of trust. Tell me your plan.
Poison Ivy: Kiss me and I'll tell you.
Robin: Tell me and I'll kiss you.
Poison Ivy: Freeze has taken the new telescope and turned it into a giant freezing-gun. He's about to turn Gotham into an icecube.
Robin: [he turns to go] I've gotta stop him!
Poison Ivy: [pulls him back to face her] One kiss, my love... for luck.
[talking about Mr. Freeze]
Poison Ivy: That's not a man. That is a God.
Poison Ivy: Some lucky boy's about to hit the honey pot. The winner will receive an evening of my company. I'll bring everything you see here, plus, everything you don't.
Poison Ivy: It took God seven days to create paradise. Let's see if I can do better.
Poison Ivy: [to Robin] Stop living in the shadow of the big bad bat. You don't need him. You're the star. I can see it now. Your own big bright signal in the sky. Let me guide you. Let me kiss you.
[Alfred misses the doorbell]
Alfred: I must have dozed off. My sincerest apologies.
Bruce Wayne: Oh, there's no apology necessary, Alfred. It's the first time it's happened in 30 years.
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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118688/quotes/qt0471399
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